I love guest bloggers. The story below happened to the lovely KV the other week. I’m finally getting around to adding it here.
Scene: Orange/Blue line from L'Enfant Plaza to McPherson Square around 9AM
Characters:
#1 Angry woman with ‘tude… not takin’ nothin’ from no one - Tall/about 6', late 20s, wearing a tight black spiderman hat
#2 Angry Lady with ‘tude… not takin’ nothing from no one- Short, short hair, late 40s
So the train is a bit crowded this morning. Not in the unsanitary way it gets sometimes, but enough to cause a bit of a ruckus when someone’s there to stir the proverbial pot. Lots of people start crowding in at L’Enfant Plaza, including #1 and #2.
1 shakes her head at 2 saying: “You can't just walk up in here like that.”
2: Places hand on hip and purses lips threateningly: “I said excuse me….”
1: “You can't jus’ be actin’ like that, gettin’ on the train.”
2: “What is your attitude about? Mind your own business.”
1 is now really worked up and physically in 2's face. They stare each other down for a few fleeting seconds (felt like longer) until 2 starts to cave: “I don’t want to deal with this anymore.” She’s currently standing next to me- I’m sitting by the window. She starts to move backward. 1 starts to egg her on saying "that's right. You just move your old wrinkly black ass away from here" 2: “can't walk away from that” and says to 1 – “you just a bitch who needs to mind her own business.” Again with the business…
This back and forth banter continues and then the seat next to me opens up. 2 takes that seat which, obviously made me really nervous. By this time both 1 and 2 have their own backups. Interestingly, their backups appear to complete strangers who for whatever reason formed some strange allegiances based on who knows what. Backups attempt to calm them down and hold them apart.
1 starts threatening to spit on 2. Afraid that I will get spat upon, I say "excuse me" in the sweetest way possible to try to get out of the way. However 2 is so engaged with 1 that I realize if she does notice me, it will only be to bitch me out for existing.
I look around and the seats behind me have started to clear out. The train is now comprised of the spectators and participants. Still wanting to be a spectator, I actually climb over the metro seat behind me and sit by the next door. At some point closely following my climb, a wad of spit appeared on the window by my former seat. Yep, that happened.
Without an appropriate segue or apology, they start talking about how the other one needs Jesus and some participant points out that they are both at fault. A nice lady next to me jokes that they are both probably going to the same government building. Sure enough they both get off the train at my stop (mcpherson sq) and just walk off like nothing has happened.
Love it.
Metro wins on this one. All I’ve got from this morning’s 11 AM bus commute is a bus full of hungover white people who, much like me, were banking on a snow day today when they went out last night. Ouch. At least we didn’t get stuck the way we did last night. Last night on an hour long trek through 3 miles, the bus straight up got stuck. The crowd stayed silent, nervously, except to crack up loudly when, after 5 minutes of revving the tires fruitlessly through the slush and snow, you heard distinctly: “Stop requested.” No luck, buddy… we’re not going anywhere. When we finally got out of the, err, situation, the driver was congratulated with loud applause and whistles. Excellent.
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