Makin it rain

The following exchange took place in a work meeting. Too frequently in the non-profit industry, people throw around colloquialisms because they think it makes them sound unique and open minded and progressive, when actually it just sounds like they read an article on holistic, sustainable farming and wanted to repeat those words. And since those of us forced to listen to that are usually some breed or degree of social worker (and therefore frequent offenders ourselves), we never call them out on it because we, too, are trying to be accepting of all ideas and opinions. This happened while trying to establish the purpose of a particular group…

Guy: “I really that this exists to bring us all together. Maybe our mission is based on the fact that we’re all coming together each month.”
Lady: rolls eyes… “We could be coming together to play bridge every month.” Thanks, lady… I didn’t have to say it.

Let’s change scenery a little. This gem was uttered by my friend R., to justify a romantic encounter with a person she has no attraction to or interest in: “I just like to make people happy. Is that so wrong?” Yes, R. That is wrong- even when it feels so right. I’m just glad I get to share this story with the Internet.

How about this seen in my text inbox... this is from A, who just returned to America from an extended stay overseas: “Question. I know our economy has really gone downhill. Is it normal for me to have paid $6 for a snacksized bag of chips and a Snapple? This shit would be 2 euro, is all I’m saying. I actually did a double take and questioned it. Then took out the monopoly money that is USD and made it rain.”

Finally, let’s end with an oldie but a goodie. Well, hell, it just happened this morning, but it felt familiar to this blog, so here we go. This was a crazed, probably high woman walking threateningly towards an older white haired man stretching out post-run at 5:30 AM. Woman: “You’re probably a goddamn congressman!” Sadly, I was the only one who thought it was funny. Maybe you will too. In conclusion, TGIF, Happy Pride Weekend, DC, and let’s all go look heat stroke in the eye.