God is not a Ginger.

This morning's 8:55 D6 didn't come. It was thrilling, waiting for the bus in the pouring rain, on a day that should, in all fairness, result in life being temporarily canceled in lieu of whiskey and poetry and Chopin. It was more than thrilling watching the 8:55 bus roll by at 9:10 with a "No Service" banner across the front, mocking the crowd of sullen faces under umbrellas. Finally, at 9:23, I dragged my soggy boots and stupidly suede bag onto the bus, scoring a window seat by my hygienically inoffensive roommate (don't worry, K- you have lots of other good qualities, too). It read like a typical D6- ties and sensible pumps and open umbrellas and environmentally responsible thermoses and a spattering of Ed Hardy. I was pleasantly surprised to hear a "Hello everyone, how's everybody doin this beautiful day?!" in a tone I was certain belonged to Sandra "Queen" Noble, former candidate for the US House of Representatives (don't know her? Check it out here):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHikkT44CtQ&tracker=False.

Seriously, it is easily the best youtube video I've ever seen. Sadly, when I saw her face, it was not the Queen herself, just your average D6 bus buddy. Fortunately, her morning monologue went something like this:

"Hey bus driver, can you tell me what bus I was on yesterday? I can't remember. I need to go all the way up Northwest. What bus I take up there? You know, this young man put a curse on me when I was little. He stared at me and put a curse on me. I don't know why. I don't know why he'd be that mean. Can somebody please tell me, who is it who know how to get to heaven, pull them angels down so they follow me around with the White Snake Lady? That lady she be looking all half snake and white and sh*t. Somebody tell me... who those people are. Hey you- sir (points to a friendly looking bearded ginger on the bus wrapped up in his kindle)- didn't I see you awhile back? Yea. When I was there... you was sitting in the throne, sayin you was God. Is you God?"

I was with her on the Snake Lady piece, but then she lost me. Sorry, lady- God is not a Ginger. He's just not. Ginger in question- my apologies if you ever read this blog, but you know it's true. Anyway, I think she may have called someone else out on being White Snake Lady, but I wasn't sure. She also taught me sign language (I'm not really sure if it was legit since I don't know any sign language). She taught me to make the letters 'C' and 'A,' saying that since I knew those, I knew enough to tell someone I liked them. I wonder what kind of lines you have to read between - or what order or repetition of those letters signals "I'm into you" - for them to have a decipherable meaning? I haven't been this confused since what's-his-face told us all there's a universal sign for "I want to have gay sex with you" that involves a wide stance in a bathroom stall. I'm now very aware of my own stance, afraid that I am inadvertently suggesting to the person next to me that I am actually a man and that I would like to engage in quiet, anonymous, passionate, politically dangerous sex with another man. This blog post is going nowhere good, much like today's weather, which prompted this religiously charged, though-provoking piece here.