Friday, October 8, 2010

What lies beyond whack

The other night, I got my fix on the X2. I waited with an elderly gentleman who walked with a cane, and shared with me an anger towards the untimeliness of the bus. He had been waiting long before I got there and, apparently, had watched too many other, non-X2 busses pass. He tells me: "Maaaan... I been waiting up in here for too long. I seen two P6s pass, and not a single X2. That is beyond whack." The X2 is beyond whack? Interesting. So I asked myself... what lies beyond whack? I was about to find out.

What lies beyond whack is a scrawny teenager whose pants actually fell down as he gets on the bus. He only looked a little embarrased after tripping over his left pant leg- not about exposing his cartoon boxers or the top of his buttocks, or about the fact that his hair was stacked a full foot high and wrapped with what may or may not have once been plus sized womens' hoisery.

What lies beyond whack is a group of people who have to get up and move to the front of the bus far in advance of their stop... the kind who push past you while the bus is moving and you're standing, causing you to squish between a pole and a random old man who is far too happy that your backside is pressed uncomfortably against his arm - totally out of your control.

What lies beyond whack is someone in a wheelchair being turned away from the bus because there are already too many wheelchairs on board.

And finally, what lies beyond whack is a drunk man who leans into you as you stand in line to board the bus, cracks up, stumbles away, lightly smacks the back of a woman's knee, cracks up again, sits down, gets up, pushes past you in line to board first, gets turned away because he doesn't want to pay, then pushes past you to leave. Cackling uncontrollably the whole time.

Thanks, X2. Til next time.

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