You would think for someone who typically rides some of the sketchier bus routes in the city, the yellow line from gallery place to King Street would seem to be a commute free of seedy dudes. No chance. On said metro route, I sat next to a heavyset middle aged man with a bald spot and a heavy Southeast Asian accent. I had my head buried in a document I was reading, but I could still see him reading over my shoulder. If I'm reading the Express? No problem. My performance evaluation from work? Not so much. I subtly tried to tilt the page away from him, but he just sticks his eyes out farther.
"You must work for the government," he tries? (great guess, buddy. but no)."Nope. nonprofit," I tried to respond dryly. Bad choice. He took my response, simple as it was, as an invitation into conversation. He asks me about my work, which I told him about- felt obligated due to the nature of my work. Then he quickly transitions into what he's really interested in... "Do you have boyfriend?" "Yes, I have boyfriend," I reply. "What does he do?" "Uh, he's an attorney." "Oh, he make good money?" "Uh, I guess." "So that's great - that means in a few years you can stop working?" "What? Uh, his job, not mine. I stil have mine." "But you won't stop working in a few years? Doesn't he want you to? I would want someone to be home- so when I get back, they're not tired like I am." Anyway, I explained to him the idea that some people get into romantic relationships because they value each other as people rather than the crap one can buy in exchange for house cleaning and regular sex. He stared at me, dumbfounded, as if he'd never heard of such a concept. It was awesome. I told him the reasons behind the feminist movement, and why many women choose to work even though their husbands have good jobs.
Finally, he looked at me and said, "I guarantee you that 90% of people don't feel the way you do." I asked him what population he was sampling, and ensured him that 90% of the people on the metro right now probably agreed with me. Since he was sitting right next to me, and the seats aren't that big and he wasn't that small... it took me some time to realize that his fingers were grazing my thigh the entire time. Gross.
Other interesting commuter quotes in the past week? "I've gotta take a leak. So don't steal my cab. Cuz if you do? (pause...) killing you would be too easy." -moustache-clad cab driver in upstate NY, told to me and three other women at 2 AM.
"Take it! Take the ride for free goddamnit, I'm not gonna argue with you, it's too early!" -DC cab driver, said while throwing my money back at me after I refused to pay a $2 charge he made up.
"Are you a virgin?" -an anonymous phone call at work to me while I was writing the first paragraph of this entry. I hung up the phone after a foreign-accented dude asked me this, following a series of non-sequitors including "I like order pizza for you" and "no. you no understand. pizza. i like order."
Bizarre. I'm not writing anymore because I'm disturbed that I could go on.
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