It's the year of football immersion for me, minus my actual learning the rules of the game (I've tried- it always just looks like a bunch of dudes in a pile). Anyway, this time I was in a bar for a Saints game. I kind of like Saints fans- a little rough around the edges, but they're well aware. I sat next to this dude whose name I no longer remember, but his image burned in my mind. He looked and spoke much like Joe Dirt, but his mullet wasn't so pronounced. Or, it was just covered by his baseball cap. He opened with a lengthy explanation of why he could, but still wouldn't beat the crap out of the scrappy kid sitting next to him:
Dude: "Look, I didn't get to be famous by beating up little people."
Me: "... you're famous?"
Dude; "That's not important..."
We really connected when he prefaced his next bit with "I don't want you to think I'm hitting on you, but..." He continued: "You and I- we're a lot alike." We are? "We are. You see - we both have these beautiful, striking blue eyes, but people always comment on your nose. Don't they?" I replied, "um, yea, I guess when I was a kid..." He continued: "both of us! We're beautiful. These crystal clear blue eyes... with a strong nose. I like to call it a strong nose. But you're beautiful even with that. Hell- we both are. People may not see that right away, but we are."
And... that hillbilly may be up for compliminsult of the year, followed closely behind that dude at my old job who commented on "how nicely I'd filled out in recent months with my fat face and all." I sure am glad he prefaced his discussion with how much he was not hitting on me. Because, flattering me with those charming nods as he was, I may just marry the dude.
Other "overheards:"
"These is my pet peeves: tardiness and people not being where they is supposed to be." It is funny. I know some people for whom subject-verb agreement is a pet peeve. Maybe they could all hang out. It sounds like that dude runs a tight ship.
"I got cut off at Hooters last night." - M. A girl.
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