Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Marriage and Chicken

On a facebook page following the earthquake: "That's just a warning from God about what's going to happen if you elect that a**hole again." Keep it classy, right wing, keep it classy.

Overheard on the d6:
Middle aged woman with lots of layers (early August. Non of this earthquake/chilly morning crap we've had lately), to a man sitting beside her:
"I'm scared of marriage, and I'm scared of chicken. My husband I split up years ago. I been having so much fun since then... oooeee! (shakes head self righteously) But not the wrong kind of fun... the right kind of fun. Walkin with the Lord. Jesus- he send me boyfriends now and again... and we cool til we ain't, and then I just sends 'em right back!" Good idea, lady. Just send 'em back when they ain't. These are lessons all women should learn!

Spotted on the metro: the best outfit of the year.
The culprit? A middle aged man with a thick, Eric Holder-style mustache. He sported a backwards Texans baseball cap, but the kind with the flat lid that people in rap videos wear. He also had cuffed skinny jeans, boat shoes, and a sweatshirt that portrayed Santa Clause stabbing a Thanksgiving turkey. He sat there with a rough attitude on his pursed lips, and wove a friendship bracelet on his afternoon commute. Solid outfit, overall. On a 1-10, he's a certified 20.

Overheard at a Twins game:
All American Guy 1: "Katy Perry looks like Zoey Deschanel if she were made of taffy and you stretched her face."
All American Guy 2: "Have you heard her on the Proactive Commercial? She sounds exactly like Tara Reid."
All American Guy 1: "Is Tara Reid still alive?"


That's all I've got.

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