My job looks like the 92.

So this wasn't an overheard on the 92 moment, but I really needed to tell someone!

At yesterday's staff party, I arrived late enough that the only seats left were on the degenerate end of the really long table at lunch. Already filled with anger and disdain for most of my co-workers given the events of the past few weeks, I tried to paste on a smile and make small talk, but it's hard to get along with people quite that weird.

Across from me, my friend M is texting on her droid, trying not to make eye contact with anyone. Beside her, directly, this skinny guy refuses to talk. Seriously - he doesn't say hi, he doesn't respond... he just silently tucks his napkin into the collar of his shirt like a bib, orders TWO entrees at the Mexican restaurant, and devours them wordlessly, except his pointing out of the obvious: "I have a large appetite."

Next to her, another one sporting false eyelashes at lunchtime grimaces as she pokes and prods the shrimp on her plate, as if they were some unknown thing. She mutters, "Ugh - this ain't what I ordered." She looks around to get the attention of the waiter to scold him f'or not reading her mind about the dish she actually wanted. She pouts while she pushes rice around on the plate and thinks about the shrimp. I don't think she ever ate any.

Next to shrimp girl, sits the ever famous, emphysema-bound sixty year old grandmother of like 34 with three teeth in her head. She is most famous for ranting statements in meetings like: "Once we has given the client the services then they has the information," and "I use the computer for two things: email." Between hacking coughing fits, she also yells at the waiter about how much she doesn't like beans. I wanted to tell her that they pretty much come with any Mexican dish, anywhere and she could just leave them aside, but I didn't want to get into it. Eventually, she gets a doggie bag to take her food, along with the food of the two people beside her, home for her grandkids.

I sat there, wondering exactly which bad decision in my life landed me in this fine establishment at the age of 25. My co-workers are so freaking weird.