Introducing.... THE ANGRIEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD!!

This woman was somewhere between the ages of 48 and 78 (depending on the length and intensity of crack and cigarette addictions), hunched over, and wrapped in a sweet little shawl riding the 32 bus into Anacostia. She shared the story of her bad morning with three different people who were lucky enough to sit next to her on the journey into SE.

I sat in the seat across the aisle, next to a serious looking woman with her face buried in a Bible, presumably trying to cleanse her soul of the profanity being injected pretty much directly in it from the titular angry woman. Behind me was a 10 year old boy yelling at his classmate: "B, I'mma sue you! I'mma take you for every penny you got! You know I'mma sue you." Across from him was the omnipresent militant Muslim touting racist Biblical phrases that I'm pretty sure aren't actually in the Bible... "The Lord said, the white man will be the least..." (Really, dude, where did it say that?!).

The woman's terrible morning went something like this: "I woke up, n**ga gave me coffee with no cream and sugar. Shit. That some bullshit. Every day is same shit, different day. Different day, same shit. Black coffee give me indigestion. And I know that shit, and I still do it. I shouldn'ta drank that shit. Bullshit. Now I don't feel good. Shit. Man, you know that bitch had her car right in the bus lane! She thought she was gonna hit me with that shit? Shit. She don' know how who she be fuckin with. I just wanna know what made her that stupid that she gon' be in a bus lane. She think her car can just jump up through a bus? Shit. I couldn't believe that shit."

I'll stop here and let you read the abridged version. Presumably, there is a segue between the indigestion incident and the near car accident, but I didn't catch it. I also didn't type the word "shit" nearly enough times to do her glorious diatribe justice, and for that I apologize.

Stay tuned for my co-worker's accounts of her unintentional conversion to Islam, and rebirth as a virgin on the 34. Shit.